For nearly a year now Jeff (the owner of Belfast Times) has been asking me to vlog (that is video my blogs).
Well first off I felt a bit silly, secondly I genuinely lacked confidence and thirdly I did my self doubt and thought oh the critics will be out with their gossip and knives.
Well a year on and I’ve not done a vlog until last week, but the point I realised is no matter what I will always lack confidence in what I’m about to do especially new ventures, no matter what I will always self criticise as I am my own worst self critic and lastly especially in the past year I have been ripped, punched, talked about, lied about and demoralised by yes you guessed it people I know. So what does it matter if I do my vlog, what does it matter who criticises, what does it matter what I think of me.
I suddenly realised all that matters is that one person whom I help.
I had 3000 views on my vlog, I was delighted but the special part was the countless private messages of thanks from people who needed my support that day.
I am fortunate to have a voice people listen to, the wisdom and life experiences of several traumatic events, I struggle daily with depression, anxiety, addiction and panic attacks. But guess what, I survive.
Every single time I get back up.
I see the lesson, I look at the people, I analyse the hurt and daily I change.
I change to master a better, calmer version of me. I remove the toxic people from my life, and I share the best of me with those who appreciate my worth.
No one is perfect and no one has the right to judge anyone else, but it’s human nature and it’s what people do. My biggest hurts have come from those closest and some very unexpected.
What do I do sink or swim?
I swim my darling. I kick and scream and drown for a little, I run away, hide and avoid what’s happening. But it’s still there, the hurt will always be there until you deal with it.
So I’m going to share with you a short vlog specially for today and it doesn’t matter if you like it or what you think.
I am me, you are you, for whatever reason I’ve been chosen to be a leader to educate in mindfulness and life’s real values.
If I have one wish is that you learn, if not from me then from yourself, because we only have today, so surely you can make a difference to one persons life today.
Kindness and love are free, apologies are invaluable, making up from a fight is powerful. Loving who you are is priceless.
Have a wonderful Monday and enjoy my vlog!