#Mondaymindfulness : Time to embrace change

#Mondaymindfulness : Time to embrace change

Happy Easter everyone and horrah spring is here!

I love that first glimpse of bright nights and mornings. I get a spring in my step and almost instinctively want to gut, spring clean, clear out the old and leave some space for lighter clothes, enjoy clean cupboards and get room in the garage. Plus I step into the garden, water flowers and notice the weeds in the driveway and in the garden. The feelings of satisfaction and space when I do this are bliss. A little pride in my new found fresher looking home inside and out.

Same applies to the body, we get out walking, more fresh air and love to travel to places where we can enjoy the scenery and sit outside and contemplate our thoughts. Many of us embark a healthier eating plan for a summer body and hence increase our exercise. With all this comes positive change and the enjoyment of change, we embrace the season changes without a glitch.

We accept that change is here so we must adapt!

So why do we react so differently to life changes? Unexpected situations, traumas and difficulties. We all experience our own lows, our personal pains and life’s unexpected difficult situations and experiences. So the fact is it’s our attitude towards our life change that matters, it’s our reaction to shock that throws us off balance, into a new dimension and experience that maybe we have no idea how to cope, how to change and how to manage.

It all new and yes we react out of character sometimes, we hibernate, over react, have deep uncrontrolable emotions and behaviours totally unbeknown to us that we can go to such dark places.No one has the correct recipe for life and no one certainly has the right to judge another, no matter how bad their behaviour is!

It’s funny it’s only in our lowest points that we learn, we learn who we are, what we need to change and indeed how we can change ourselves! This is where the mindful spring clean begins, we see our flaws, failings and negative behaviour traits and we know we don’t want to experience them again. Herein lies the journey to change.

It’s only when you are sick of being sick that you waken up, give yourself a massive shake and know that the weeds of the mind need cleared. Your weeds could be people, places or things.  Your thinking, emotions and behaviours. Your lifestyle, job, location. You actually always know the answer, it’s just that we fight, we fight for what we think is normal, safe and acceptable. We fear the unknown and fear failure.

But I’m telling you now, trust me from someone whose been there, to embrace total change fully you must have suffered enough. You need to want it more than anything and therein lies your strength, your inner voice that’s prepared to fight no matter what for your new changes. You must learn that once you ditch the weeds there’s no going back, there gone and if you don’t clear them fully they will reappear. Make sure it’s a thorough gut, remove everything and everyone who doesn’t serve you anymore. I mean by serve, doesn’t respect who you are anymore, and that’s ok.

Just as the seasons shed leaves, branches and fully uplifted roots sometimes so must you remove, reduce and reignite the road ahead. When new weeds creep back in, remember why you got rid at that time and quickly remove again or in no time they will have crept back in and destroyed your new path. Be vigilant, be prepared and be aware the sun is out, your on a new clean, refreshing journey. With new fresh flowers and strong rooted trees. Stand tall, strong and blossom and be ready for the storm as sometimes a gail sweeps in and destroys the path when you are least expecting it!

I find no better way to explain life than through the seasons, the kids get it fully and absorb the information quickly. We sweep out and remove bullies in one mindfulness session and the kids embrace strength, feel the change and move on powerful and ready for anything.

Adults can be particularly evil, vindictive and cunning and usually bully and destroy charters behind their back as they usually dramatise the situation for their own gains. The best solution for this is to walk away, don’t let their words affect your self esteem and what’s the point in addressing the situation it only encourages and feeds their power, and for those who listen well all I can say is how would you like to be the victim and people believed and judged you based on one persons biased opinions.

Remember there is always three sides to each story, yours, theirs and the truth!

Never listen nor judge it makes you part of their game.

It’s funny we have wars, killings, natural disasters but words can kill! A persons dignity, character and life can be destroyed by another’s words! Incredible.

However working with mindfulness in children and adults these words ruin our childhood and adolescence and adulthood.

Dealing with this breaks me as the person felt justified in their actions yet what if they were the recipient!

Moral of the story don’t spread gossip, listen to gossip or be the gossiper!

Stand tall, respect yourself, look after your own garden and blossom alone, peaceful, strong and ready for the road ahead!!

Brenda Shankey

Post Author: Belfast Times

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