#mondaymindfulness by @brendashankey: Creating a new Christmas

Well it’s December!

Officially and usually my favourite time of the year.

I’m a big kid, I love Christmas, presents giving and receiving. Catching up with yearly friends and most people in good spirits.

This year I have to face a whole different world. Usually my home is an open house with all family, husband, dad, sisters about 12, but alas with a lump in my throat it’s just me and my two kids this year.

Because I am such an emotional soul I didn’t have the courage to sit with them and me on our own because I thought I’d be crying all day missing my sister. Thought being the wrong attitude, it might have been brilliant , anyway it’s the value of love really, I’ve spent my whole life with my family and now a big change of reality hits.

In mindfulness we live in the moment but it doesn’t mean you can’t or don’t prepare for future.

So instead of sitting feeling sorry for myself, I volunteered the kids and I to wash dishes and waitress for my good friend Sonya Mac.

Sonya owns a restaurant in Newtownards called Eats and she opened last Christmas day as her dad had died earlier in the year and she had the same thinking as me, she didn’t want her and her mum to be sitting home alone, upset dad wasn’t there.

So she opened up the restaurant, got her friends to volunteer to help, local businesses supported by donating all the food and she charged £25 a head. All proceeds went to Action Cancer UK and Cancer for kids.

So off 12 of us went last year to support her, only we ate and paid and it was great having your dinner all handed to you with no preparation or dishes lol.

So this year she has told me that I am on dishes with my son and my daughter wants to waitress.

Then later in the evening we will pop to Derry to join dad and my sisters.

Moral of the story, I won’t have time to feel sorry for my loss of those who have been with me for many years and I have to learn how to cope with emotional life experiences where not everything stays the same and Brenda has to accept life changes, people change, situations change.

People come in and out of our lives so often and they either add to, or take away some of our values and self worth, it’s up to us how we deal with everything.

I will miss my traditions of years gone by with magical memories, but I can’t hold the pain and focus on the negative.

I will learn to create the new chapter of Christmas and New Year and accept who I’m with is exactly who I’m meant to be with.

I will probably have the best fun ever washing dishes with my son and my daughter can’t wait to be a waitress.

So as I always try, best to do is turn everything into a win win situation.

Everyone wins when people work together for the good of others.

Now in saying that we need lots more volunteers so I will post you the link and maybe you can come join Sonya and I for a great day of craic.

Life goes on regardless so make sure you get the most out of your time here.

It’s so difficult losing people you love, but it’s how the world is and how you survive is by protecting yourself and there’s only one person can do that…. You!

Look after your mental health please, half of what we think we create our own problems and issues, so chill out, try to accept what’s happening to you and try to accept life is as it is, you just gotta get on with it.

Please come along and help us it would be greatly appreciated.

All my love
Brenda xxx

Post Author: Belfast Times

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