Monday Mindfulness: Destination addiction beware

Destination addiction beware!

I’ve been very fortunate to have had the luxury of a wonderful week in Italy, I am very grateful for the opportunities that arise for me often and I always know to take every opportunity with grace and humility as it may not arise again.

I had the pleasure of meeting by chance an Italian guy last year in London during a business trip and to say we’ve never looked back has been an undstatment.

The chance meeting developed into a long term relationship at both times in our lives when it was just easy and we were very compatible I guess.

Anyway, one year on and I’m a guest in Italy with his family so at no expense to me it was a gift to be invited.

With no one speaking English and my Italian at 5 words It’s been interesting to communicate without language and words.

In a remote location my bliss was no wifi unless I traveled to a hot spot and for that I only did to speak with my children plus I needed work done in my home.

Yearly I usually participate in a weeks silence retreat or 4 silence weekends so this time I decided to embark on my own detox adventure and I committed to the first 48 hours with no phone, communication with others, tv, newspapers, contact with life really.

I took myself to a remote spot and my aim was silence, inner silence, listening to me, the inner voice, the guide and nothing, just to do and be nothing except some yoga, lots of meditation, space, time and tranquility.

Nothing just nothing!

It is to me my life detox, an inner cleanse of noise, stuff, baggage, and space just for me, just freedom from the self, expectations, demands, requirements, the ability to sit still, know stillness, feel stillness and listen to stillness.

The ability to learn thyself!

In knowing that no matter what the greatest gift is that inner peace and contentment with your lot!

If you’ve lost everything, what does it matter?  Can you regroup and start again?

If you’ve failed miserably and humiliated yourself, what does it matter?

Can you regroup and start again?

If you’ve been lost, low, anxious, depressed, lonely, sad, regretful, angry? What does it matter? 

Can you regroup and start again?

Mindset it’s all mindset!

We all mess up, we all face the unfortunate life circumstances, we fail and fail again and guess what, we can regroup and start again!

Always, over and over again! 

I just have one piece of advice on this and it’s this: when we have space, calm and quiet we accept our information differently.

If we are living in the frantic, chaotic mind, overwhelmed by life, comparing ourselves and our lives to others, thinking we’ve got it tough, got a raw deal, everyone’s talking about us, we’ve been dealt an unfair hand then in this mindset we suffer, we accept the pain and bring the negative back and poor ‘me’ attitude to ourselves!

In turn this takes longer to shift, to feel gratitude, to see there is another option or chance and we dwell on the negatives.

So my wisdom today is try this: try meditation, that’s simply sitting still and focus on what you actually have right now that is good, it may be little but hey it’s ok it’s something!

Focus the mindset on gratitude and compassion, kindness, love and grace and open your eyes and your heart to what you truly have to be grateful for.

This is the mindset of all success and positive people and it’s well known happiness is not found through wealth , wealth is found through happiness! This is instilled through gratitude.

Through self, self compassion, self worth, self love and theirin lies happiness and there then sees growth mindset, true real success and people who are in your life deserving of your worth.

So destination addiction is be aware that thinking ‘if I had that job, that relationship, that money, that holiday, that ‘want’, I’d be happy!’

Truth is you get it and you get bored so you look for the next addiction of want that you think will bring you happiness and so it goes on and on until one day you break and realise the only thing you need is actually you!

Your inner self, your inner love and self respect, your inner worth and value, this drives you to true and real work, where helping others gives you fulfilment, real love surrounds you in all your relationships (except the areas where you still need growth or to learn more, these people or life’s experiences are your challenges and lessons!)

So don’t be envious of anyone or anything, try being addicted to you! To learning who you are, what makes you tick, what are you truly good at?

And grow, make the life you want. Because when you’re content then the inner space sees what it truly wants, your vision is clear, the right people guide you and opportunities just keep coming.

So do yourself a favour and take your life detox now and you don’t need leave the space your in! The destination you’ve got is everything you need.

Brenda x

Don’t forget if you want to learn more my mindset/mindfulness classes start September every Wednesday night for 4 weeks! They will give you the best coaching and guidance for an extra boost! Bookable at 

Post Author: Belfast Times

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