Monday Mindfulness: Why do we listen to others opinions?

I have to say on my mindfulness journey I have learned so much about life, living and me!

Here are a few things I have learned:

  • I've definitely become calmer, more relaxed, can cope with stress an awful lot better, am more accepting of life and things that happen.
  • I've learned to appreciate the small things and not need much material things to make me fulfilled or give that instant happiness.
  • To be kind and loving towards others especially when I don't agree with their opinions or attitude or behaviour and I'm way more compassionate and try not to judge people I meet.
  • I also try not to talk about others or give a negative opinion as best I can.

The one biggest realisation I've come to see is a killer area for me is definitely 'words hurt'.

What people say and how the say it really can have massive impact and for me sometimes I find my healing and forgiving can take alot of time while I try to mindfully work through my pain and sometimes loss and sorrow.

It hurts!

I was reading a research document this week and loss/grief isn't necessarily death.
The same emotional principles apply to loss as in:
Loss of job, home, friendship, career, health, finance, only the impact of these losses are just as painful as death.

As we go through life we all lose things, yet we all react and behave differently.

I'm not the biggest fan of emotional suffering in fact I try to avoid it as best I can and In that I mean by watching my behaviour, words and reactions to people, life and living.

But I am human, I make many mistakes and I continue to suffer through different things.

I've seen how much impact and destruction words have had in my life and those around me and as they say you can't take them back so the damage has happened.

So how do we be more aware when dealing with others and protecting ourselves?

The best way is through awareness of yourself.

We've always been told be careful of the company you keep and you know how it feels if you are sitting listening to negative toxic gossip so one thing I try to do where possible is not react or partake and possibly distance myself from what makes me feel uncomfortable.

My difficulty is the listening to the opinion of others and letting 'those words' through my ears and letting my self critic get control of it!

Because that's what it is, it's words, someone else's words, someone else's critical opinion of what they 'think' of you, and here's where I'm growing daily in that the only person who really knows me is me, others can judge and comment about what they 'think' of me but I know truly who I am, I know what I'm dealing with, what I'm criticising myself about and what's going on in my little world.

In my world I know how I want to feel, how I want to treat people and be treated in return and the more I gravitate to likeminded people the more I see and hear more kinder, loving softer words, less jealous, judgemental or oppionated words and much as I wish I was a bit more resilient when hearing things I don't like I know that I'm a work in progress, if I'm aware I'm learning, if I'm aware I'm saying little and if I'm aware I realise people will always be people and words will always hurt but it's how I process and absorb it that matters.

So when I'm in more control of me I become that little bit more resilient and let stuff go more easily and that's where I see the growth in me and everyday where I get up and try to live the best I can quite frankly I have all my riches right where I need them!

So how does mindfulness teach me this?

  • Through awareness of yourself and others.
  • Loving kindness and compassion.
  • Through forgiveness and letting go and 
  • Through seeing each day with fresh new eyes!

If you are interested in any of my September-December mindfulness classes pop me an email or follow my Brenda Shankey mindfulness Page on Facebook.

The lessons are invaluable to simply living in a more accepting, peaceful and freeer way, focusing on self awareness and self belief and then designing the life you want!

Happy Monday all

Love Brenda xx 

Post Author: Belfast Times

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